mood swings of mountain weather

I don't have much time for a substantial entry -- rehearsal in twenty minutes -- but a few important things went down this week I wanted to let you know about.

First of all, I had my lesson with Elizabeth Pridonoff yesterday (finally) and it was just incredible. In studio class on Wednesday we all had a wonderful discussion about why we are here and why we are musicians and it really got me thinking. In the past year I have been doing a lot of questioning in that same vein: Can I really make a living in music and be happy with myself and my life at the same time? I don't want to have to overwork to succeed, but I don't want to be unsuccessful, either. Basically, all my thinking and talking to other musicians and talking to my family/friends and that discussion and my talk with Mrs. Pridonoff culminated in a personal epiphany of sorts; I've realized that I can do music and still acheive a balance. My life is what I make of it. Along with that epiphany comes the realization that I really need to go to graduate school if I'm going to make success as a musician plausible, which means this coming year is going to be very stressful and busy and full of big decisions.

But of course my lesson wasn't all just talking, we played some music too. I played the first movement of my Beethoven for her and she offered some very helpful suggestions. It was almost a surreal experience... she is so incredibly similar to my first two piano teachers in personality, musical outlook, and teaching style. It was like going back to my childhood. I really enjoyed it, and it made me feel very inspired and truly excited to practice for the first time in a long while. Her technical suggestions, especially, made a lot of sense to me. Donna Lee's suggestions were good for someone with hands and arms like hers, but they felt for the most part very unnatural to me, and I think Mrs. Pridonoff can help me return to my own personal comfort at the piano.

I'm running out of time! Quickly, other things I did this week:
- Took a spur of the moment trip to the Blue Ridge Parkway, and went hiking to look at waterfalls and mountain overlooks and trees trees trees everywhere. It was just gorgeous.
- Rehearsed with the gigantic (120 people!) choir for the Carmina Burana performance we're giving tomorrow afternoon with Keith Lockhart, conductor of the Boston Pops!
- Played for the Board of Trustees dinner with a singer and got to schmooze a bit afterwards. I've found that for the most part the older people get the more I enjoy talking to them, so I had a good time.

Okay, truly have to go RIGHT now. More later, hopefully!

caffeine will see me through

The nature of life at Brevard creates a strange atmosphere sometimes. Good strange, I mean. For example, I was eating alone at lunch today (I was a little earlier than usual and it the cafeteria was pretty empty) when I noticed none other than Andres Diaz sitting at the opposite end of the table. These things happen a lot -- famous and ridiculously talented people like Diaz mixing right in with the students in the midst of their day-to-day. For those of you wondering who this dude is, check this out. The trio mentioned in that link, the Diaz Trio, gave a concert on Monday night that was by far and above the best concert I have heard since I got here. They played some Dohnanyi and some Kodaly (early 20th century Hungarian composer... very folksy and awwwwesome). But they opened with Andres Diaz doing a solo Bach cello suite which just... blew me away. And that isn't easy to do with solo anything, especially something as antiquated as Bach, but it was so full of personality and beauty! I couldn't even see him as he performed because I had walked in last minute, too late to find a seat, and had to hide around a corner just to hear him. His performance made me so excited about playing Bach that I decided to play my partita for Donna Lee at my last lesson with her the next morning, and it was well worth it; we had the best time together, both of us throwing our hands around like wild women and exclaiming about Bach's genius.

Speaking of Donna Lee, I have decided that I really like her, as a person, a performer, and an educator. All of my complaints about inefficiency put aside, I think she is very talented and kind, and I would love to work with her again in the future. My next teacher, Elizabeth Pridonoff, gets here on Saturday, though, and since she's the reason I came here I am naturally very excited to meet her and play for her.

This week has been very, very busy, and the next few days are the culmination of it all, so I'm feeling the pressure! Tomorrow I am premiering a new song in an afternoon recital, and then that evening I am playing the synthesizer part in a piece for the Transylvania Symphonic Orchestra (one of the high school orchestras here). On Saturday I play for three competitors in the concerto competition, which will be terrifying -- orchestral reductions are so hard. And on Sunday, if any of my instrumentalists make it I will be accompanying them in the finals, which are a public performance. Wish me luck, because I will need it.

gravel in my sandals

This week has been going so so so well. The pages of my daily planner fill up with incredible speed, between rehearsals, practicing, concerts, lectures, master classes, running, reading, and meals. It feels really good, though, to see how much I am accomplishing. Here's a list of my current repertoire:

• Solo: Beethoven's Sonata No. 27, Op. 90 in E minor; Bach's Partita No. 3 in A minor
• Concerto reductions for the competition in 9 (eek!) days: Richard Strauss's Oboe Concerto in D major; Mozart's Oboe Concerto in C major; Tchaikovsky's Cello Variations on a Roccoco Theme
• Chamber Works: Debussy's Violin Sonata; Beethoven's Violin Sonata No. 4, Op. 23 in A minor
• Orchestra parts: John Adams's The Wound-Dresser; Saint-Saens's Organ Symphony

Oy... so much music!

My second lesson with Donna Lee went much better than the first. I think it helped that I am now feeling much more at ease with myself being here, and I also came in with specific questions so that our lesson time was very focused and efficient rather than filled with lots of fluffy talk. Unfortunately I can't really focus much on my solo rep, for obvious reasons! I have noticed that the increased amounts of practice time haven't put as much strain on my arms as I had been expecting. In fact, I feel much more at ease at the piano than I ever have before. Let's hope that feeling continues.

Yesterday was an especially fantastic day. The first part of the week was very mentally exhausting so I took the entire day off and drove to Asheville. I shopped and ate delicious food and walked everywhere downtown. Asheville is a very interesting city with an incredibly diverse population and beautiful archictecture, not to mention the mountains that surround it. The best parts of my day: spending an hour in a bookstore waiting for the rain to stop, eating sea-salt dark chocolate caramels from a chocolate shop, and ending my day with an escape into the hushed and beautiful St. Lawrence Basilica. I also discovered what may well be the greatest antique store known to man -- huge and full of clutter but none of it junky, just intriguing and quirky. And after spending such a wonderful and selfish day, I feel much more energized and excited about the things I am doing here.

I wish I could write longer, but I should go practice!

spiders have eight legs

I can't believe it's already the Fourth of July... that means I only have thirty-eight days left in this place! (Well, plus the two to three days of driving time to get back to Lawrence... heh.) Now, I realize that a countdown is usually a sign of anticipation and also a sign that I feel what's to come is better than what I am experiencing currently, and in a way that's true. I really miss my daily summer routine back home, and I hate the fact that I'm not going to be able to come back to Minnesota this summer to see people. I miss teaching, I miss riding my bike, I miss cooking, I miss my friends and our bar, I miss my roomies, etc. But at the same time, I am specifically counting down the days I have left at Brevard as a kind of personal challenge: How much learning and music-making can I possibly fit into thirty-eight days? Can I handle practicing four or five hours every single day? How many pages of music can I learn in that time? How many friendships can I forge and establish? How many professors can I learn from and get to know? If I am going to be here, I am going to be here, you know?

I had my first lesson with Donna Lee on Tuesday. To be honest, it was a little frustrating. We went over the first movement of Beethoven's Sonata Op. 90, and she spent a lot of time dealing in images and musical metaphors ("Your arm is a super ball!") rather than specifically adressing my musical and techincal problems. It felt extremely inefficient as a teaching style, and I walked out feeling unmotivated and a little depressed -- I missed my old teachers a lot! But after I sat down for a practice session on the sonata I discovered that she had managed to communicate a good deal of helpful technical advice -- specifically the idea of suspension in my forearms and the shape of my fingers during fast passages -- that made a real difference in the way I played the sonata. I am very interested to see how our next lesson goes, now that we've gotten to know each other a little bit and figured out our dynamic.

As far as other teachers here, Dr. Douglas Weeks from Converse College gave a master class on Wednesday that I enjoyed a great deal. He's one of those teachers who can't help but show his genuine excitement for the music and for teaching it to his students. And of course, his own playing is superb -- he accompanied the Moszcowski violin duet on a recital this week and showed not only his technical chops but also his musical sensitivity. I find it interesting that such a talented man ends up at a tiny little school like Converse College but such is life.

I am starting to make some good friends here, which keeps me busy when I'm not practicing. It's also nice to talk to people because they are from schools across the country, and they can offer me an insider's perspective on the programs they've been involved in. It's a great way to research for graduate schools.

As far as my plans for today... there's a pops concert at 2:00 with all the stereotypical Independence Day bullhonky (Stars and Stripes Forever, 1812 Overture, etc.), and I am hoping after that I can find some people to go explore around Asheville with me for a while, maybe check out the fireworks display there. We shall see. Things around Brevard don't really stop or slow down for this holiday, so hopefully I can find a way to pull people away from their instruments long enough to have at least a little fun. ;-)

By the way, I'd love to hear from anyone who is reading this -- just shoot me an e-mail or call me up and let me know how your summer is going.