settling in

My third day here and already things are familiar. It seems like everyone here is an early riser, which I really appreciate -- I think my inner morning person has been waiting for an opportunity like this to show herself. After my morning run and shower I walk down to breakfast and even at 7:30 in the morning I can hear trumpets and violins echoing across the ponds and pathways.

So far it has been difficult to establish a "routine" for myself... it's taking a while for the piano department to let us know what's going on and to get a schedule rolling, but I think on Monday things will finally start up. It looks like my days are going to be very much my own; studio class, master class, and a private lesson each happen once a week, plus the intermittent chamber coaching and a weekly lecture on the Well-Tempered Clavier. But each of those is only one hour long at the most, and the rest of the day is my own. Of course there are performances I can attend almost every day (for example I saw Yo-Yo Ma last night!), but even with those I still have a good eight hours a day to spend exactly how I please. Really, it's wonderful -- I can read as much as I want, linger at mealtimes, and explore Brevard and the forest surrounding it. Everyone has been talking about how I have to go see all the waterfalls that are around here, and I really want to go whitewater rafting, so I'll have to be assertive and gather up a group of people to go do that.

By the way, I finally found out I will for certain be studying with Donna Lee and Elizabeth Pridonoff this summer, for three weeks each. I've talked to Donna Lee a bit and she seems absolutely wonderful -- sooooo friendly, and her previous students tell me she is a very gifted educator. I've also found out some of the collaboration I'll be working on, and it sounds like I'm going to be the rehearsal accompanist for the opera company's production of the Carmina Burana, as well as possibly getting a part or two in the orchestra (?), plus as many chamber sonatas as I can get my hands on. Lots of music, but I can't wait.

the salad bar's alright

I am here! First thing's first: a story about my ever-faithful car, Lizzie Lou. She stuck with me through two long and arduous days of cross-country driving, and our joint efforts have brought us to a milestone of sorts. Or perhaps a mileage-stone?


I am proud of her.

As far as this place she has brought me to (Brevard, that is), I don't really have a whole lot to say. I've situated myself in my cabin, which has four rooms of four bunks each, plus a bathroom and an RA. (I'm on the upper bunk for now but I'm in the process of bargaining to change that.) It's extremely basic but not really that dirty... definitely tolerable. I am here to embrace the outdoors, after all. Plastic roofing (like swimming pool changing room style) and thin walls, cement floors, window AC units, but we DO have a refrigerator! This means that I don't have to subsist on cafeteria food alone.

Speaking of the cafeteria, I really think ours is alright. The food is basically the equivalent of a pretty decent high school lunchroom meal, and the salad bar is alright -- today they had pea pods! And anyway, it's all paid for and all you can eat. I think breakfast will be the best meal, which for me means tea and honey toast, and I definitely saw a canister of Lucky Charms.

I really like the practice facilities they've provided for us. There are plenty of grand pianos to go around, and almost all of the rooms have windows on three sides looking out into the woods that surround us. I walked around for a bit today and thought it was funny that I could watch everyone as they practiced... maybe a bit awkward, but we are performers after all. Some of the rooms are unfortunately without air conditioning which I can't imagine will be good for the instruments or the musicians.

I think my favorite part thus far are the trees. Huuuuge glorious tall green trees everywhere, and it smells like green things. Hopefully it won't be so hot all summer, though: it was around 90 today. They told me I'd be escaping the heat, so I hope they weren't lying!

I admittedly am going through a bout of homesickness on this first evening, but that's nothing unusual for me in a new place. I just need to get myself settled in and establish a little daily routine. And I am still very excited to see what this summer will bring.

time time

Well, here it comes. Worries about money/school/boyfriend/family/friends/my car aside, I am leaving on Tuesday for Brevard, North Carolina, and won't be back until August... 10th? 11th? 12th? See, this uncertainty is awesome. All I know is I'll be back... sometime. When I'm good and ready.

In the meantime, there are a few ways to reach me. There's my cell phone, naturally, and you can e-mail me (binna42@gmail.com). But if for some reason you're struck with an intense desire to send me real, honest, legitimate mail, here's the address:

Brianna Matzke
Brevard Music Center
PO Box 312
Brevard, NC 28712

Or if you want to take it a step further (farther?) and send me a package via courier (like FedEx) you can use this address:

Brianna Matzke
Brevard Music Center
349 Andante Lane
Brevard, NC 28712

So go on and prove you love me. I'll be posting on this blog as often as humanly possible -- at this point I'm unsure how I'll even access the internet while at Brevard, but they can't cut us off completely, can they? More to come.

the world is fat

Being healthy is a lot of work. I set a goal for myself to lose five pounds before summer heat hit fullscale, but so far it's been a failure. Issues:

- I spend 2/3 of my mealtimes with my boyfriend who, being roughly a foot taller than I, can eat three times as many calories in one sitting. Not fair.
- I also spend a lot of time hanging out with people in relaxed social situations that usually include a meal or two. Self-restriction isn't easy when those around you are stuffing their faces with deliciously disgusting food. And the alcohol (mostly beer) consumption that happens in the context of these social situations only pours on more calories and causes me to temporarily abandon my convictions about healthy eating.
- I like to exercise, especially running and biking, but doing so only wakens my appetite and weakens my defenses against overeating -- I've actually gained two or three pounds thanks to my increased summertime exercise regimen, muscle mass and otherwise.
- Healthy food is expensive and I am poor (and bad at budgeting).
- I've never been thinner than I am right now. Well, not since the age of what, like 15?
- I am fighting a lot of bad habits. I was raised in a home that did not eat healthy food, so I have to figure out for myself what is good and what isn't; I eat quickly and usually end up being a little too full; I like to snack; blah blah blah, etc.

Point being, I've hit a plateau and I'm frustrated. Seems to me that setting good habits for myself is going to take a lot of determination, and once those habits are in place it's going to set me apart from 95% of the college crowd. BUT regardless of my whining... I am going to do it. I want my body to feel good and work the way it's supposed to -- I just need some patience while it finds its way there.

to-do list

A three month expanse of summer in front of me. Consider this a mental preparation:

1. Read books and books and books. For starters... The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath, For Whom the Bell Tolls - Ernest Hemingway, The Stranger - Albert Camus, Catch-22 - Joseph Heller. Pause for breath. In Cold Blood - Truman Capote, Death Comes for the Archbishop - Willa Cather, Lolita - Vladimir Nabakov, Things Fall Apart - Chinua Achebe. I am completely in earnest about this list!!!

2. Be as healthy as is conceivably possible. Good food and running and swimming and biking and water and sun and sleep. This also includes moisturizing. :-) Ha.

3. Exploration and adventure. Novelty. Fear.

4. Pursue friendships, help them grow roots, give them a history.

5. Embrace my time at Brevard in North Carolina. Six and a half weeks isn't that long. Imagine what can be learned in that amount of time -- music is waiting for me.

6. Write a song or two or seven. (to be posted here)

7. Drink lots of good wine, beer, and whiskey.

8. Avoid shopping. Commercialism can be overwhelming, plus I will be very poor. And I have better things to do with my time.

9. Learn to play drums and guitar. I'm half there already!

10. __________________________.