jello salad

Families are weird. How can I go out and create my own life without completely estranging myself from everything and everyone I've ever known and loved? I can see what I want, and it does not line up with how they live. I love living in a city. I love being active outside, riding my bike everyday, and running and walking and swimming and... well, you get the idea. I love supporting my local community, but only if that community embodies ideals that I truly believe in. I like having really nice things, rather than just buying the cheapest option. I love eating healthy, healthy things all the time, and saving indulgences for foods that are worth it. (Okay, okay, with some McDonald's thrown in here and there... but those fries are so worth it.) I love good wine and hate cheap beer. I like to connect with people by talking about books, art, music, politics, and how generally f-ed up the world is and how we ought to be fixing it. I like to feel smart and conscientious, and I want to be understood as a classical musician. Most importantly, I want to be surrounded by people who aren't going to make fun of me for wanting all of this. I love my family, but after reunions only make me feel more and more alone. I know that plenty of people go through this at my age, but I still haven't heard a solution that I think will work for me. Ultimately, I'll admit it, this boils down to money. But really, I don't think it's the amount of money spent but the way I would choose to spend it. Different priorities. I'll also admit that my concern is not so much for my family as it is for me; I don't want to end up alone. If I go the way of my family, I end up being with people that I don't respect or relate to. If I find friends and a husband who reflect my new lifestyle, I'm separating them and myself from my family.

Well, anyway. I got a new camera! Look look look: